I have been wondering lately, especially after the U.S. Republican candidate Mr. Romney's recent appearance on "Meet the Press", why is his party so repugnant to me.
It is not really policy, or at least implementable policy. As Romney admitted, he would keep the parts of President Obama's Medical Insurance Program (otherwise known as Obamacare) that made sense. After all, he said reasonably, the cost of medical care is really out of control. This comment must have infuriated the Libertarian faction - and the 1% must be fuming. Imagine paying for someone's troubles.
As well, Romney mentioned that it was not feasible to attack the debt issue in the next four years. It would hurt the economy too much. Duh!
So it is not policy that is the difference. Rather it is the stench of racism, of xenophobia and misogyny, that emanates from the fringes of the party (one hopes at least) that is the problem.
The Big Tent Republican Party is a fantasy. The reality of its arrogance and lack of empathy is astounding.
Tuesday, September 11, 2012
Tuesday, August 28, 2012
The Wizard of Washington
Opening Scene:
Mitt and Paul are on stage in a conference center in Tampa, basking in applause. A ferocious wind starts blowing,
Mitt: What's happening?
Paul: I don't know.
The storm rages about the two politicians, lifting them into the air, sending them twirling and spinning through space and time for a good long while. Finally, they land in a lush green field.
Mitt: What is this place? Where are we?
He notices a small dog running around and through his legs.
Mitt: Get this darn dog away from me. Tie it up, for JC's sake.
Dog: Mitt, it's me Paul. Yip, yip yip.
Mitt: Oh my Paul, What has happened to you? You used to be taller and more photogenic. Where are we, Paul?
Paul: I don't know, but if there's minimal goverment interference, it could be a capitalist paradise!
A magnificent figure clad in white appears before them. It is a stupendous sight, although a little creepy in that the figure has two heads.
Mitt: We must have entered the Celestial Temple. Or is that an elder of the LDS? or is that Donny and Marie?
Figure: We are the Good Witch of the Republican Party (Libertarian faction). Also known as the Koch brothers, multi-billionaires and funders of various SuperPACS.
Paul: I prostate myself before my heroes! Yip, yip, yip.
Mitt: Oh good witch, how do we return to Tampa so I can be crowned President?
Good Witch: You must follow the Yellow Brick Road. It was paved with our money and the blood, sweat and tears of good God-fearing Americans. We have left various multi-millions donations for you along the way - so don't get lost. And remember the money belongs to the SuperPacs so it cannot be directly aligned with your campaign (nudge nudge wink wink)
Mitt (awkwardly trying to wink back): Right. Thanks.
Paul: Yip, yip, yip.
The pair walk down the Yellow Brick Road for a bit, then Mitt sees a scarecrow in a nearby field.
Scarecrow: Help! Help! Get me down.
Mitt: Is that you Sarah Palin? What are you doing in there?
Sarah: I'm scaring the crows...
Mitt: How do you do that?
Sarah: Usually, I just say the first thing that comes into my head.
Mitt: That would work. Here, let me help you down.
Paul: I think you're going to regret this Mitt. Yip, yip, yip.
Mitt: I can't just leave her here. It's not the Christian thing to do.
Sarah: I wish I could figure out how to get myself down. Oh if I only had a brain.
Paul: I could not have said that any better.
Mitt helps Sarah down out of the field and the three continue down the path. A little while later, they encounter what appears to be a figure in rusted armour blocking the road.
Paul: Don't tell ne it's another goverment program subsidising obsolete knights or something. We need to cut, Mitt, cut, cut cut. Yip, yip, yip.
Mitt: Karl? Karl Rove? Is that you?
Karl: Mmmmph!
Mitt: I think his mouth is rusted over. Do anyone have any oil?
Sarah: Drill, drill, drill!
The good witch appears from west, points to an oil can beside the road, then disappears.
Paul: Thank god for SuperPacs! Yip, yip, yip.
Mitt grabs the oil can and begins to lubricate Karl's various stiff parts.
Sarah: This is kind of risque. I can't look.
She turns away but keeps leering back to watch. Finally, Karl's lips are limber enough to talk.
Karl: Thank the Republican Party. I thought I was doomed when that rain storm caught me flat-footed. (he looks sad and introspective for a moment). Sometimes, I wish I had a heart.
Paul: Karl, you got the Shrub elected. Twice! And you masterminded the SuperPAC concept. What could you possibly need a heart for?
Karl: Oh yeah right.
The four merrily continue on their way. They see a figure hiding, crouched behind a bush.
Figure: ROAR! I am the voice of the Republican Party!
Mitt: Rush. Rush Limbaugh, is that you?
A man in a lion suit emerges from behind the bush, brushing off leaves from his chest. He takes a fighting stances and waves his fists in the air.
Rush: Put em up. Put em up.
Mitt: What are you doing Rush! We are your friends.
Rush: Right. But I need a controversy for rating's week. Who is that woman there? Is that the whore who wants free contraceptives? Give me a piece of her. Course, next thing you know, she'l be wanting the right to determine the fate of her own body! HA! HA! HA!
Mitt: You know, Rush, women have rights too, I think. Isn't that right Karl?
Karl: Well within limits. They do need to cook, clean and raise the children, remember.
Sarah: Something is not quite right there, Karl, Now where is that brain of mine?
Rush (looking sad and pensive): Sometimes I wish I was really brave, had some true courage of conviction, instead of just being a big bully all the time!
Paul: Who are you kidding now? Yip, yip, yip.
The motley crew of five continue down the road. A figure in black appears out the sky. It is the Wicked Witch of the Liberal East. It is Barack Obama, winner of the Nobel Peace Prize.
Barack: Stop there. Mitt, I want those shoes.
Mitt (looking down at his shoes): My shoes? I just had them polished.
Rush: Put em up, Obama,
Paul: Let's debate the budget details again, Barack. It gets me all excited. Yip, yip, yip.
Karl: Hah hah. Our SuperPAC is bigger than yours.
Sarah. Our drills are bigger than yours.
Barack. See you clowns in November.
Karl (whispering): Let's throw a bucket of negative advertising on this guy...
Obama goes up in flames.
All Together (chanting): Burn! Burn! Burn!
Sarah: Ooh! This is somewhat disturbing.
Karl: Ok, let' s go to next scene right now.
Further down the road, they encounter a town full of little people.
Mitt: Who or what are these?
Paul: I think they are the 99%. Let's cut Medicaid on these Munchkins.
Karl: C'mon quick. Let's go another way.
Mitt: No. No. I want to get to know them. (he strides forward) Little people, hello, where are you from? Lithuania, I'm sure. Anyway, I am Mitt Romney and I approve this message, Obama is burnt toast (no pun intended) and I promise to lower taxes for the rich and cut all goverment services except the military. This will somehow create jobs, reduce the debt, and give you all access to great television programs, processed food and cheap goods made in China. (he bows to the cheering of the multitudes).
Eventually they reach the Emerald City of Washington. As they fight through the lobbyist contigent, they enter the castle of the mighty wizard.
Mitt: Great wizard of Washington, we need to get back to Tampa so I can be crowned President. Can you help us?
Sarah: What about my brain?
Karl: And my heart?
Rush: And my courage?
Mitt: Screw those things. They're not important. I need to get back to Tampa (stamps his feet).
The curtain is pulled back to reveal the wizard. It looks a lot like Ronald Reagan ressurected.
Ronald: Mitt, I have Air Force One warming up. Hop on and I'll fly you back,
Mitt: C'mon Paul let's get on the plane.
Paul: No, we need to cut this governmnent waste.. No more Air Force One. Sorry.
Mitt: What do you mean? No more Air Force One, are you kidding me?
Paul jumps our of Mitt's arms and runs away. The plane starts moving up the runway,
Ron: Hurry up, Mitt.
Mitt looks at the plane, then back at Paul forlornly.
Karl: The shoes, Mitt, the shoes, I understand what Obama wanted. Click the heels three times and you can have everything you want.
Mitt: Screw the shoe mysticism, Karl, I'm taking the plane.
Mitt runs up the stairs into the plane. The door closed and it takes off.
Paul: No. Oh Mitt no!
Sarah: I guess the bromance is over.
Karl: Wait 'til he finds out the airport in Tampa is closed...
The End
Mitt and Paul are on stage in a conference center in Tampa, basking in applause. A ferocious wind starts blowing,
Mitt: What's happening?
Paul: I don't know.
The storm rages about the two politicians, lifting them into the air, sending them twirling and spinning through space and time for a good long while. Finally, they land in a lush green field.
Mitt: What is this place? Where are we?
He notices a small dog running around and through his legs.
Mitt: Get this darn dog away from me. Tie it up, for JC's sake.
Dog: Mitt, it's me Paul. Yip, yip yip.
Mitt: Oh my Paul, What has happened to you? You used to be taller and more photogenic. Where are we, Paul?
Paul: I don't know, but if there's minimal goverment interference, it could be a capitalist paradise!
A magnificent figure clad in white appears before them. It is a stupendous sight, although a little creepy in that the figure has two heads.
Mitt: We must have entered the Celestial Temple. Or is that an elder of the LDS? or is that Donny and Marie?
Figure: We are the Good Witch of the Republican Party (Libertarian faction). Also known as the Koch brothers, multi-billionaires and funders of various SuperPACS.
Paul: I prostate myself before my heroes! Yip, yip, yip.
Mitt: Oh good witch, how do we return to Tampa so I can be crowned President?
Good Witch: You must follow the Yellow Brick Road. It was paved with our money and the blood, sweat and tears of good God-fearing Americans. We have left various multi-millions donations for you along the way - so don't get lost. And remember the money belongs to the SuperPacs so it cannot be directly aligned with your campaign (nudge nudge wink wink)
Mitt (awkwardly trying to wink back): Right. Thanks.
Paul: Yip, yip, yip.
The pair walk down the Yellow Brick Road for a bit, then Mitt sees a scarecrow in a nearby field.
Scarecrow: Help! Help! Get me down.
Mitt: Is that you Sarah Palin? What are you doing in there?
Sarah: I'm scaring the crows...
Mitt: How do you do that?
Sarah: Usually, I just say the first thing that comes into my head.
Mitt: That would work. Here, let me help you down.
Paul: I think you're going to regret this Mitt. Yip, yip, yip.
Mitt: I can't just leave her here. It's not the Christian thing to do.
Sarah: I wish I could figure out how to get myself down. Oh if I only had a brain.
Paul: I could not have said that any better.
Mitt helps Sarah down out of the field and the three continue down the path. A little while later, they encounter what appears to be a figure in rusted armour blocking the road.
Paul: Don't tell ne it's another goverment program subsidising obsolete knights or something. We need to cut, Mitt, cut, cut cut. Yip, yip, yip.
Mitt: Karl? Karl Rove? Is that you?
Karl: Mmmmph!
Mitt: I think his mouth is rusted over. Do anyone have any oil?
Sarah: Drill, drill, drill!
The good witch appears from west, points to an oil can beside the road, then disappears.
Paul: Thank god for SuperPacs! Yip, yip, yip.
Mitt grabs the oil can and begins to lubricate Karl's various stiff parts.
Sarah: This is kind of risque. I can't look.
She turns away but keeps leering back to watch. Finally, Karl's lips are limber enough to talk.
Karl: Thank the Republican Party. I thought I was doomed when that rain storm caught me flat-footed. (he looks sad and introspective for a moment). Sometimes, I wish I had a heart.
Paul: Karl, you got the Shrub elected. Twice! And you masterminded the SuperPAC concept. What could you possibly need a heart for?
Karl: Oh yeah right.
The four merrily continue on their way. They see a figure hiding, crouched behind a bush.
Figure: ROAR! I am the voice of the Republican Party!
Mitt: Rush. Rush Limbaugh, is that you?
A man in a lion suit emerges from behind the bush, brushing off leaves from his chest. He takes a fighting stances and waves his fists in the air.
Rush: Put em up. Put em up.
Mitt: What are you doing Rush! We are your friends.
Rush: Right. But I need a controversy for rating's week. Who is that woman there? Is that the whore who wants free contraceptives? Give me a piece of her. Course, next thing you know, she'l be wanting the right to determine the fate of her own body! HA! HA! HA!
Mitt: You know, Rush, women have rights too, I think. Isn't that right Karl?
Karl: Well within limits. They do need to cook, clean and raise the children, remember.
Sarah: Something is not quite right there, Karl, Now where is that brain of mine?
Rush (looking sad and pensive): Sometimes I wish I was really brave, had some true courage of conviction, instead of just being a big bully all the time!
Paul: Who are you kidding now? Yip, yip, yip.
The motley crew of five continue down the road. A figure in black appears out the sky. It is the Wicked Witch of the Liberal East. It is Barack Obama, winner of the Nobel Peace Prize.
Barack: Stop there. Mitt, I want those shoes.
Mitt (looking down at his shoes): My shoes? I just had them polished.
Rush: Put em up, Obama,
Paul: Let's debate the budget details again, Barack. It gets me all excited. Yip, yip, yip.
Karl: Hah hah. Our SuperPAC is bigger than yours.
Sarah. Our drills are bigger than yours.
Barack. See you clowns in November.
Karl (whispering): Let's throw a bucket of negative advertising on this guy...
Obama goes up in flames.
All Together (chanting): Burn! Burn! Burn!
Sarah: Ooh! This is somewhat disturbing.
Karl: Ok, let' s go to next scene right now.
Further down the road, they encounter a town full of little people.
Mitt: Who or what are these?
Paul: I think they are the 99%. Let's cut Medicaid on these Munchkins.
Karl: C'mon quick. Let's go another way.
Mitt: No. No. I want to get to know them. (he strides forward) Little people, hello, where are you from? Lithuania, I'm sure. Anyway, I am Mitt Romney and I approve this message, Obama is burnt toast (no pun intended) and I promise to lower taxes for the rich and cut all goverment services except the military. This will somehow create jobs, reduce the debt, and give you all access to great television programs, processed food and cheap goods made in China. (he bows to the cheering of the multitudes).
Eventually they reach the Emerald City of Washington. As they fight through the lobbyist contigent, they enter the castle of the mighty wizard.
Mitt: Great wizard of Washington, we need to get back to Tampa so I can be crowned President. Can you help us?
Sarah: What about my brain?
Karl: And my heart?
Rush: And my courage?
Mitt: Screw those things. They're not important. I need to get back to Tampa (stamps his feet).
The curtain is pulled back to reveal the wizard. It looks a lot like Ronald Reagan ressurected.
Ronald: Mitt, I have Air Force One warming up. Hop on and I'll fly you back,
Mitt: C'mon Paul let's get on the plane.
Paul: No, we need to cut this governmnent waste.. No more Air Force One. Sorry.
Mitt: What do you mean? No more Air Force One, are you kidding me?
Paul jumps our of Mitt's arms and runs away. The plane starts moving up the runway,
Ron: Hurry up, Mitt.
Mitt looks at the plane, then back at Paul forlornly.
Karl: The shoes, Mitt, the shoes, I understand what Obama wanted. Click the heels three times and you can have everything you want.
Mitt: Screw the shoe mysticism, Karl, I'm taking the plane.
Mitt runs up the stairs into the plane. The door closed and it takes off.
Paul: No. Oh Mitt no!
Sarah: I guess the bromance is over.
Karl: Wait 'til he finds out the airport in Tampa is closed...
The End
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